People love talking about culture. Corporate culture, hipster culture, coffee culture. Alas, where there is a community, there is often a common culture that shapes behavioral norms and social practices. But when many of us think of culture, we think about visible elements that make someone seem “cultured.” Things like music, food or the arts. Things you can hear, see, smell and touch.
These are the elements that have come to define “culture” because they are the only things can pass the test of time. Music from the 70s, for example, is a window into the hippy, revolutionist culture of the time, but the window can only reveal one small pocket of the larger home. One must have lived through the decade to fully understand its unwritten rules or “invisible culture.” It is the unspoken, collective truths that are what truly define a culture at one point in time.
Today, it a mortal sin to wear socks with sandals. Why, you ask? I’m not too sure but I sure as hell know not to do it. And why are you crazy if you call on the phone and even crazier if you dare leave a voicemail? Lets face it, the telephone is dead, even though we still call the computers in our pockets smart “phones.” This seismic shift is still redefining how and when we communicate and the unwritten rules are communally adopted based on how much we are collectively willing to tolerate. Despite resistance from older generations, kids today are completely comfortable with ephemeral photos constituting communication and social status can be quantified in likes and follows. The unwritten rules are much different in a world like this. It will certainly be interesting when they are running the place.
What’s interesting is that these unwritten rules can be incredibly hard to spot until you experience a culture where the rules are different. In China, for example, it is commonplace to nap at the office after lunch. Many people even keep pillows at their desk. And they think it’s crazy that we don’t nap at work. After all, everyone gets a little sleepy after eating. In Australia, they eat “fairy bread,” a healthy concoction of white bread, butter and sprinkles. In Myanmar, most men chew betel nut and in Denmark, commuters will miss their stop on the train to avoid asking a stranger to let them through the door.
What we think of as “normal” often changes, sometimes drastically, over time. Though our rules can be arbitrary, the sense of predictability gives us comfort. A stranger seems a little less strange if they act like us. But by looking at our own rules of engagement as the standard bearer, we can close ourself off to the other. We can view other cultures as abnormal, even if they make more objective sense. I mean, come on, I’d love to nap at work. If we want to rewire our social code, we need to run the risk of being called abnormal. We need to be comfortable with discomfort. We need to start talking to strangers on the subway.
ARYEH CARNI 